Frank N. Stein and the Halloween Heist
By Frank Cox (Sep 2024)
It was a dark and stormy night in the heart of the city, and Frank N. Stein, the toughest detective in town, sat in his office with a cup of cold coffee and yesterday’s newspaper.
His biceps bulged beneath his trench coat, and his brow was furrowed in deep thought. Or at least as deep as Frank could manage after a long day of cracking skulls and solving crimes.
Just as he was about to call it a night, the phone rang.
“Stein, detective,” he growled into the receiver.
“Frank! You gotta help! The Halloween candy! It’s gone! ALL OF IT!” came the frantic voice of Mayor Taffy.
(His name was Clarence but everyone called him Laffy. He wasn’t laughing now.)
Frank sat up straighter. “Gone? What do you mean gone?”
“I mean GONE!” Laffy screamed. “Someone stole all the candy from every house in the city! The kids are rioting in the streets!”
Frank slammed the phone down. “Nobody messes with Halloween on my watch.” He grabbed his lucky fedora and a stale donut, then stormed out of his office.
–
Frank prowled the streets, his eyes scanning for clues. The smell of panic (and leftover pizza) lingered in the air as children in costumes rampaged up and down the streets, demanding their sugary loot. Ghosts were booing, pirates were swashbuckling in protest, and one tiny T-Rex was biting a fire hydrant out of pure frustration.
Then, Frank saw it. A suspicious trail of candy wrappers leading into a dark alley.
“Amateur,” Frank muttered. He followed the trail, munching on a candy corn he found along the way. The alley was narrow and creepy, but Frank wasn’t easily spooked. After all, he was a seven-foot-tall ex-wrestler turned detective. The only thing that scared him was kale.
At the end of the alley, Frank found himself face-to-face with the culprit: Sticky Fingers McNab, a notorious candy thief. Dressed head to toe in what appeared to be bubblegum wrappers, Sticky Fingers stood next to a giant sack overflowing with candy.
“You think you can steal Halloween candy and get away with it?” Frank growled, cracking his knuckles.
Sticky Fingers grinned, his teeth coated in chocolate. “I’ve stolen every last piece of candy, Frank! Halloween is ruined, and soon the sugar rush will be mine!”
Frank narrowed his eyes. “You forgot one thing, Sticky Fingers.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
Frank pulled out a massive, shiny object from his trench coat. “I’ve got the biggest sweet tooth in town.” It was his official detective lollipop, custom-made and the size of a dinner plate.
Sticky Fingers screamed and grabbed the sack of candy, making a break for it. But Frank was faster. He held the lollipop like a shield, deflecting a barrage of jelly beans hurled in his direction. Then with a mighty roar, Frank threw his donut like a boomerang. It sailed through the air and bonked Sticky Fingers squarely on the forehead, sending him tumbling backward into the pile of candy.
Frank dusted donut powder off his hands and walked over to the fallen thief. “Sweet dreams, Sticky Fingers.”
–
The next morning, the city awoke to the glorious sight of candy back in every home, and Frank N. Stein, the Halloween hero, standing tall (literally) at City Hall, holding a key-shaped chocolate bar the mayor gave him as a reward.
“Frank, you saved Halloween!” Mayor Taffy said, handing him a bag of assorted chocolates.
Frank popped a candy corn into his mouth and smirked. “All in a day’s work. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a dentist appointment.”
And so, with Halloween saved and the candy returned to its rightful owners, Frank N. Stein went back to his office, ready for whatever sticky situation came next.
In this town when things get tough, Frank always comes out sweet.